Now-former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci is not having a good time of it lately. Not only did he skip his child’s birth in service of Donald Trump and learn that his wife was divorcing him over his new job, and not only did he then lose the job he gave up everything for, but now he’s dead…at least, according to Harvard Law School’s alumni directory.
The directory lists him (it had better since “Harvard Law School” pops out of his mouth so often that he should have a paid endorsement deal), but there’s one small problem: The asterisk next to his name indicates that he has died since the last directory was published in 2011.
It is unclear when he actually passed away (his soul has been dead for quite some time now) or how his body remains animated, but Harvard says there may have been an error in classification in his case.
“Regrettably, there is an error in the Harvard Law School alumni directory in the listing for Anthony Scaramucci,” a spokeswoman told the Washington Post. “We offer our sincere apologies to Mr. Scaramucci. The error will be corrected in subsequent editions.”
In all fairness, Scaramucci probably wishes he was dead at this point, after having the 10 worst days of his life working under Trump and watching his life be destroyed for it. Naturally, though, the internet can’t get enough of this news:
And, well… his marriage.
Ok. Maybe they knew.
— Washte Chante (@washte_chante) July 31, 2017
Well, he’s *professionally* dead. Does that count?
— Pittsburgher (@SLCJCC) July 31, 2017
When you can’t say anything nice…just pretend he’s dead, I guess.
— Angela K Klaassen (@ackk913) July 31, 2017
What a prescient little asterisk that was. Career-wise.
— Jane Urban (@AudacityJane) July 31, 2017
Well, maybe not DEAD, but…
— Howard D. Kramer (@hdk108) July 31, 2017
Not so incorrect now, is it? He’s dead in the only way that matters to him.
— Marion Douglas (@That_Bitch_16) July 31, 2017
To his wife and his career
— TheBeachBum (@gnewbill) July 31, 2017
It just keeps getting worse. His wife divorces him, he is fired from the job he’s been lobbying for months for, and now he is listed as dead
— T.P. Ottawa (@Hope4OCT) July 31, 2017
Geez, they used to just put a horse head in your bed or something.
— The Angry Liberal (@angryandliberal) July 31, 2017
Mooch may not actually be dead, but his career, his marriage, his reputation, his future relationship with a child who will always know he is less important than his father’s ambition and that he will never be loved as much as Scaramucci loves Trump, and his ability to speak to anyone without an image of Steve Bannon performing auto-fellatio popping into their head? Yeah, those are all dead.
Featured image via Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
John Prager is an unfortunate Liberal soul who lives uncomfortably in the middle of a Conservative hellscape.
Prager spends much of his time poking Trump’s meth-addled, uneducated fans with a pointy stick and is currently writing a book of muskrat recipes (not really) as well as putting together a scrapbook of his favorite death threats. His life’s aspiration is to rule the world with an iron fist, or find that sock he’s been looking for.