Creationists go to great lengths to justify their misguided beliefs, and one particular newspaper — the Great Falls Tribune — recently took a look at a local creationist museum in Glendive, Montana. Their conclusion? Well, let’s just say that this museum believes in some really weird things.
Creationism actually has a philosophical basis; it’s anchored in something called the “teleological argument.” The teleological argument isn’t necessarily at odds with evolution or geology, either. The umbrella term “Old Earth creationism” includes a number of philosophies, like progressive creationism, evolutionary creationism, and gap creationism, all of which combine the teleological argument with evolution. to varying degrees of success.
Where the teleological argument really runs afoul observable realty, though, is with Old Earth creationism’s arrogantly delusional and aggressively stupid cousin, Young Earth creationism. This science-denying belief is as wrong as it is self-certain, and unfortunately, it’s also far more common.
To prove to themselves they’re right and try to convince people who don’t understand how critical thinking works, creationists have created a number of “museums” that take highly liberal interpretations of scientific evidence and cram said evidence into their paradigm in any way that fits.
One such museum exists in Glendive, Montana, and it goes by the rather innocuous name, The Glendive Dinosaur & Fossil Museum. But boy-howdy does this place skew the facts, and in one recent exposé, the Great Falls Tribune revealed just how crazy some of the ideas in that place are.
To get a picture of just what this museum believes, the Great Falls Tribune sent in a reporter. According to the reporter, this “museum” teaches guests that:
You’d think the Early Dynastic period of Egypt or the Sumerians would have said something about the world being created in 4,000-4,400 BCE.
Oh, but that’s nothing compared to their timeline. Here, take a look:
The museum belongs to Otis Kline, who has a number of real fossils on display, but presents visitors with a very different story of those fossils’ history.
Kline sometimes gives tours, and according to him, the presence of trilobite fossils in places like Kansas is evidence of the Great Flood, while another tour guide, Robert Canen, explains to visitors that people lived 10 times as long in the Biblical era because the atmosphere had more oxygen.
“Turtles can live 150 years. Take times 10. You have a 1,500-year-old turtle. All these things are going to be amazing when things live 10 times longer,” he said.
More oxygen in the atmosphere isn’t going to extend your lifespan by any measure. In fact, oxygen is a key component in many free radicals that do bad things to your DNA, and oxygen may even play a role in aging.
And that’s without talking about hyperoxia, which can be lethal.
So this claim isn’t only wrong, it’s probably the exact opposite of what it wants to be. More oxygen would probably speed aging up, although it would lead to larger land-dwelling arthropods due to their respiration. So if you want to ride a giant centipede or see a griffinfly as big as a small child, you missed your chance.
When asked about the possibly he’s wrong, Canen said, “I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong, and that’s something science and this whole field could use more of.” He went on to add, “We think the evidence fits what the Bible says. You don’t have to be afraid to dig up dino bones.”
The star attraction of the exhibit is a T. rex named “Stan.”
“Evolutionists look at Stan and say he’s 45 years old (when he died),” Kline said. “I look at Stan and say maybe 450 years old. That could account for the size of Stan.”
Because no creationist museum is complete without an Noah’s Ark exhibit, this museum includes one, too.
“People ask, did he take dinosaurs? Yes,” Canen told the Tribune reporter. “You could take a juvenile with the genetic capacity to be all dinosaurs.”
I don’t even know what his last sentence means. It’s just gibberish. That’s the kind of technobabble bullshit you hear in bad Sci-Fi.
But this is all just preparation for their “new kind of dating” that refutes radiometric dating. This new method, which apparently redefines the entire concept of the weak nuclear interaction and upsets quantum theory, proves that dinosaurs, humans, and primitive mammals all lived simultaneously on different parts of the globe.
According to the “museum,” dinosaurs were coastal animals, while mammals and humans lived further inland, and the fossil record isn’t a progression from simple to complex organisms, but of deep to shallow water and land.
“We’re cutting edge here,” Canen insisted, adding that scientists and academics who don’t believe in the Bible are “lazy thinkers” who can’t let ideas go:
They hold onto (the idea) so long they don’t allow anything to question it. If you can trust any historical document, you can trust the Bible.
Talk about irony.
Feature image via Facebook