You know, folks, it’s beginning to seem like all of these “alt-Right” Nazis we were told to ignore because free speech and whatnot aren’t all that nice of people.
On Sunday, Andrew Anglin — editor of the Daily Stormer (the most popular Nazi propaganda publication on the interwebs) — wrote a very nice obituary for Heather Heyer, the woman who was mowed down by a Nazi who listened when fellow right-wingers said it’s OK to mow down protesters who are “blocking roads.”
Err…perhaps “nice” isn’t the proper word. Maybe “horrific?” OK, perhaps “the worst thing on the internet” might work. According to Anglin, this was just a “road rage” incident completely unconnected to any Nazis whatsoever except for the driver who happened to be a Nazi. Besides, the victim of this terrorist attack that wasn’t a terrorist attack was just a “fat, childless 32-year-old slut” anyway.
OK, now you’re probably thinking “fuck this guy. Fuck him with a cactus covered in lemon juice.” But perhaps there’s something to this. Let’s see what he has to say.
Anglin says there are 5 extremely important things that you “need to know” — the first being that she was “fat and a drain on society.”
“Despite feigned outrage by the media, most people are glad she is dead, as she is the definition of uselessness,” he writes. “A 32-year-old woman without children is a burden on society and has no value.”
“Childless women are black hole vortexes of public money and energy,” he adds, echoing the sentiment of the entire Republican party. “Had she not died yesterday, hundreds of thousands of dollars would have been spent on propping-up this gross creature who had failed to do her most basic duty – her only real duty, in fact – and reproduce.”
“Having no children at that age, it can be assumed that she had multiple abortions, and was thus herself a child murderer,” he concludes.
OK, maybe he’s off to a great start. But surely his next bullet point won’t be absofuckinglutely terrible” — unless, of course it’s that she was “too fat to dodge a Dodge.”
“A Dodge Challenger is a fast car. Fat people like Heather fatty fat are slow, slow, slow,” an actual human being wrote about someone who was murdered. “In the video, you can clearly see that most people dodge the charging Dodge. Heather was unable to dodge the Dodge, because she was just too fucking fat to really move much at all,’ according to one observer.”
OK, so maybe that didn’t go over so well. But surely he has an actual point somewhere. Maybe there’s something to this whole she deserved it because she was “protesting white men” thing.
“She was attending the rally to protest white men.,” Anglin says, adding that “even at 32 years of age, she was still trying to get anonymous men to bone her. She would then no doubt try to guilt trip those men who got caught up in that situation (probably while drunk) into giving her their personal energies. All old fat sluts are psychic vampires, and it is clear that Heather Heyer was playing this game hard.”
F*cking seriously? Anglin then takes a break to talk about the driver, fellow Nazi James Fields who was a “hardcore player” and “sources claim that he didn’t give a fuck.” No, seriously, he actually wrote this:
“Despite the cool demeanor he shows in his social media profile pictures, it appears that road rage got the best of him,” Anglin says of Fields, adding that “there are also many wondering if the outrage is not simply player hatred, rather than actually concern over the death of some useless sow.”
He also speculates that this senseless act of terrorism, committed by a Nazi, was “publicity stunt by Dodge.”
This is the least likely scenario according to Anglin, because “it is unlikely that James Fields would agree to be involved in a publicity stunt like this, as he is likely facing life in prison.”
So, yeah. This is the Nazi response to one of their own hopping in his “fatty smasher” as Anglin calls it and accelerating toward a group of protesters, killing one.
Currently, the White House is filled with self-described “alt-right” personalities like Steve Bannon — and Trump won’t do a damn thing about it because he put them there.
Fuck all of these people.
Featured image via screengrab
John Prager is an unfortunate Liberal soul who lives uncomfortably in the middle of a Conservative hellscape.
Prager spends much of his time poking Trump’s meth-addled, uneducated fans with a pointy stick and is currently writing a book of muskrat recipes (not really) as well as putting together a scrapbook of his favorite death threats. His life’s aspiration is to rule the world with an iron fist, or find that sock he’s been looking for.