This is some genius level logic, right here. But then, that’s what America has come to expect from Rick “I Forgot” Perry, the onetime presidential candidate and heir to George W. Bush’s throne of not just Governor of Texas, but the stupidest guy from there, too.
On Thursday, Perry, who is Donald Trump’s Energy Secretary, was attending an event in Washington, D.C. hosted by Axios and NBC. The discussion was centered on energy policy, and Perry was eager to talk about a recent trip he made to Africa. The Secretary was on the continent for a regional oil summit, since the primary aim of the Trump administration has been to move away from revolutionary green energy and back toward fossil fuels.
When you’re the American bigwig at a fossil fuel summit, your job is to make fossil fuels sound good, and that’s what Ricky did while he was away. He was so proud of how much he talked up oil and so-called “clean coal” that he just had to share it with the audience back here in Washington.
The problem is, things sure do get messed up in ol’ Rick Perry’s head. Or maybe I’m just giving him the benefit of the doubt. Either way, he told a mind-bending story of how a young girl in Africa told him that fossil fuels help prevent rape. Speaking anecdotally, Perry mentioned the young woman’s concern about electricity so that she didn’t “have to try and read by the light of a fire and have those fumes literally kill people.”
But then he claimed that the girl went on to say that electricity could help stop sexual assault.
When the lights are on, when you have light that shines, the righteousness, if you will, on those types of acts.”
Personally, I’m inclined to believe that Rick Perry is a liar, because I don’t think anyone ever said something that dumb. On the other hand, this could be a workable slogan for the fossil fuel industry.
“HEAT WITH OIL! THE PURITY OF AFRICA DEPENDS ON YOU!”
Featured image via Drew Angerer/Getty Images
Andrew hates long walks on the beach, glitter, and men’s rights activists. He can usually be found with his long-suffering wife, who can usually be found asking him to please not order onions on that burger, babe.