Donald Trump has made no secret of which candidate he’d like to see win the Alabama Senate special election to replace the Most Racist Man in America, Jeff Sessions. He wants Luther Strange, who is currently sitting in the seat vacated by Sessions, appointed to it by the governor of Alabama when Sessions joined the Department of Justice. In fact, most of the “establishment” wants Strange to fill the seat with a little more permanence.
That election takes place on September 26th, and Strange will be hosting both Trump and Mike Pence, who plan to lend their famous faces to his campaign in the coming days. But Luther is having a hard time shaking his competitor, racist evangelical nutcase Roy Moore, the former Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. And Strange had better hope the fact that Trump carried the state by the highest margin since 1972, because Ol’ Roy is bringing in the big guns.
While that may sound like Roy Moore is planning on shooting Luther Strange — and being Alabama, I wouldn’t blame you for thinking that’s what I meant — I’m actually talking about Sarah Palin and Sebastian Gorka, who are coming to the state to campaign for Moore on Thursday. The Alaska washout governor and the Nazi former Trump adviser still carry quite a bit of weight among hardcore conservatives who think Trump has gone soft since he sat down with Democrats to do anything other than call them homosexual baby-killing Satanists.
Ironically, Palin and Gorka will arrive as emissaries of the Great America Alliance, a pro-Trump advocacy PAC. Great America PAC has exactly one ruling from PolitiFact, and it’s “Pants on Fire,” which fits perfectly with both Gorka’s and Palin’s respective styles. But the 501(c)(4) is at odds with its sloganeer, Mr. MAGA himself.
In fact, Moore has a slew of endorsements from the feathered tip of the far right wing: Gorka and Palin, James Dobson, Chuck Norris, and the Duck Dynasty patriarch himself, Phil Robertson. Moore has also secured the votes of both the Alt-Right and of shadowy lizard-men with the endorsement of Steve Bannon.
But just in case you were wondering which would be worse — the guy Trump wants, or the guy Bannon wants — just remember that there’s a third guy running for the office as well. Representative Mo Brooks wants the seat, and although he’s every bit as shitty as either Strange or Moore, I would recommend voting for him just to piss off everyone.
Featured image via Gary Tramontina/Getty Images
Andrew hates long walks on the beach, glitter, and men’s rights activists. He can usually be found with his long-suffering wife, who can usually be found asking him to please not order onions on that burger, babe.