Ryan Bundy watched one too many old movies and ended up getting the idea to try to escape jail back on April 8th of this year. The facts only came out about it recently, despite it happening long ago. However, that makes it no less hilarious when you hear what he actually did.
Ryan tore bed sheets into strips and then braided them into a makeshift rope approximately 12-15 feet long. Jail staff found the braided rope hidden under his mattress along with an extra container of food, which he presumably had stowed away for after he broke free from the jail.
The discovery was made known during a pretrial hearing in Portland, where prosecutors brought up the fact he tried to (VERY unsuccessfully) escape the facility. Bundy denied this and his excuse was that he was a “rancher trying to practice braiding rope.”
Let’s just stop and think about how absolutely ridiculous this sounds on its own. A rancher braiding a bedsheet to practice ranching while he’s in jail. Riiiiight … There are not known to be many cows wandering in most jails in America these days.
Now, with that in mind, imagine a county jail and a guy with 15 feet of bedsheet rope. Just what exactly does he think he’s gonna do? This isn’t some old prison in the middle of nowhere where you can break one of the bars out of the crumbling window. Being a ‘patriot’ clearly doesn’t mean you’re also smart.
Bundy told the court that the suggestion he was trying to escape is “self-serving speculation, and simply not true.” The only thing Bundy has going for him to support his statement is the sheer stupidity of the concept of escaping a modern jail with a bedsheet rope.
When you think about Bundy’s other partners, though, you can see how stupid ideas seem smart to them. Ex-rancher and Bundy helper, Lavoy Finicum, decided to get into a gunfight in the middle of a wide open field with federal authorities. The success of his plan can be summed up by the fact he’s now an “ex-rancher.” Talk about stupid …
In a way, it’s unfortunate that Ryan Bundy got busted before he made his great escape attempt. I’d have paid real money to see a news photo of him dangling from a rope and afraid to let go because he had a 15-foot rope for a 30-foot drop.
Featured image via Daily Mail