The news has been awful for a week. I mean, the news has been awful for a year, but it’s been particularly bad the last few days. Believe me when I say that I would love nothing more than to find things to write about other than Roy Moore, the gross former judge from Alabama who’s running for the US Senate in a special election next month to replace Attorney General Jeff Sessions.
But when a politician gets caught in something as terrible as the maelstrom of disgusting charges Ol’ Roy is facing after an explosive report in the Washington Post detailing his habit of dating teenage girls when he was in his 30’s, and they refuse to back down or admit they’ve done anything wrong, you can pretty much expect that the news will be nothing but them until they either do back down or are forced to go away.
The GOP would like nothing better than for Moore to disappear off the face of the planet. Well, most of them, anyway. Some of them still think that Roy is just what America needs, or at least that a pedophile is better than a Democrat.
And Saturday Night Live, in the way only they can, captured both sentiments perfectly.
During the “cold open” on November 11, the show finds Vice President Mike Pence in his office when candidate Moore visits him. The Veep lets Roy know that they expect him to step aside — they won’t force him, but he needs to think about it anyway. Mike leaves Roy alone with his thoughts in the office, and that’s when the legendary Kate McKinnon pops out from under Pence’s desk, dressed as Jeff Sessions:
Jeff Sessions, what are you doing here?”
“Oh, I’m just doin’ what I always do, cookin’ up nightmares for children.”
“Sessions” explains that, while Roy “checks a lot of boxes” for him in terms of being the kind of outrageous Republican that wins races in the Deep South, the race just isn’t going to work out.
I’m Alabama, but you, you sir, are too Alabama.”
But after Roy leaves, there’s a special appearance from Sessions’ father, and the sketch hits home really fast.
Watch for yourself:
Featured image via screen capture
Andrew hates long walks on the beach, glitter, and men’s rights activists. He can usually be found with his long-suffering wife, who can usually be found asking him to please not order onions on that burger, babe.