Ted Cruz, according to Ted Cruz, is as close to as perfect a Christian as you’re going to find. He’s “pro-life” (as long as we’re talking about a fetus rather than an actual living, breathing human being), he goes to church, he inserts his god’s name into every single conversation, and he stands up for his version of sexual morality — which seems to pretty much just mean gay people can’t have sex.
But most of all, he’s true to his wife Heidi. He doesn’t at all find himself tempted by other women because he’s…oh, who are we kidding? Ted f*cked up and “liked” an adult video on the Twitter machine and accidentally left it there:
Don’t worry, we’re sure he was watching this video for the plot…or to “research” the Devil’s influence on mankind through erotic films or whatever excuse he’ll have for us about why he is such a raging hypocrite.
After screenshots of Ted’s “likes” began making their way around Twitter, he finally “unliked” the video, which features a woman walking into a house to find two people having sex, spying on them, and masturbating (Before you beat me to it…Yes – it is still a better love story than Twilight).
For all of the preaching Ted Cruz does at others, he fails miserably when it comes to following his own professed sh*tty beliefs.
Featured image via screengrab
John Prager is an unfortunate Liberal soul who lives uncomfortably in the middle of a Conservative hellscape.
Prager spends much of his time poking Trump’s meth-addled, uneducated fans with a pointy stick and is currently writing a book of muskrat recipes (not really) as well as putting together a scrapbook of his favorite death threats. His life’s aspiration is to rule the world with an iron fist, or find that sock he’s been looking for.