The theme of the 5th GOP Presidential primary debate would have read perfectly by one of those movie trailer guys saying,”National Security: Your children are living in fear.” Never has an event been more geared towards hearing stupid ideas from unqualified people quite like it. On the issue of national security, the Republican party has one stance: you and your family will die at the hands of ISIS, probably by beheading, unless you vote Republican.
They expressed that for more than two hours on Wednesday in some of the most bizarre of ways. Everyone has learned, for example, that Carly Fiorina will lie and then stick by it in the world’s most irritating and condescending voice just before she reminds you that she buried a child. Sure the child wasn’t hers and the child was a full-grown adult, but the image of her holding her precious little one as she’s summoned home to Jesus just…lingers, doesn’t it?
That was only an honorable mention to the three dumbest, most ridiculous talking points of the GOP field on Wednesday:
We need to “rebuild” the 5th fleet. The Air Force is falling apart. They even went so far as to talk about the nuclear triad. Are they freaking kidding? The United States spends more on the military than the next seven countries combined:
We put trillions of dollars in debt on the country credit card to go to war. We obliterate anything in our path. They haven’t retired the B-52 because they’re still the best piece of machinery on the planet to deliver the number of bombs you idiots are always talking about dropping. Our military needs to be restored? Fiorina called for the rebuilding of the 5th fleet. Is she stoned? The 5th Fleet is a fierce and imposing force. Their amphibious command ship was just relieved in the Persian Gulf by the aircraft carrier Harry S. Truman strike group.
These people are so ridiculous. Rubio wants to talk about the nuclear triad. When talking about how old some of our equipment is, he lumped in Minuteman missiles. Minuteman missiles are first strike or retaliatory-capable inter-continental ballistic missiles that carry the kind of destruction some of us were glad we could stop fearing on a daily basis 30 years ago. He mentions the Dallas class nuclear attack sub, a first strike killer capable of sneaking up on the coastline of an unsuspecting country to blow a few dozen large holes in it.
To say our military is weak is beyond dumb, it topples stupid. It’s just plain ridiculous.
As Ted Cruz was being asked about his comments about making the Middle Eastern desert sand “glow in the dark,” He stood there nodding his head with the world’s creepiest smile on his face. He was enjoying the thought of indiscriminate mass murder, you could tell. The first time he was asked if his carpet bombing would extend to major cities, Cruz agreed. After hearing it with “women and children” were mentioned, he backed off and gave the perfect Texas know-nothing answers to serious foreign policy questions, falling back on Special Forces to figure out how to keep those innocents safe from entire square miles of real estate being blown to smithereens.
Ben Carson came right out and said, “we do what we have to do,” which apparently includes, again, the indiscriminate mass murder of however many civilians we see fit, because war is what saves America.
Donald Trump said we should be the mafia of the world and kill the families of known terrorist. “I want his wife…dead! I want his kids….Dead!” Yes, it’s a reference to some stereotype that Donald Trump personifies. His policies have us not just as mass murderers, but serial mass murderers at that. When your reason for wanting people dead becomes vengeance it’s time to check yourself out of society and into a nice cushy padded cell.
There’s no need to concern ourselves with or even bother to discuss things like the economy or education. Republicans want you to assume that those things will be just fine as soon as they get into office. You don’t need to know about jobs growth or unemployment numbers. The only thing we need to worry about is the fear. Terrorism is coming across our southern border, it’s infiltrating our cities and flooding our social media. Except no it’s not.
Chris Christie looked into the camera and told America that our children are terrified. They had to close all L.A. schools the morning of the debate for a bomb threat and the kids were afraid. They should be. We all should be. Because the terrorists are coming for us.
The children in L.A. got a free day off from school. They were ecstatic. When we give in to Carly Fiorina frowning with those glossy, beady little eyes and that voice telling us we’re on the verge of the next 9/11, or Ted Cruz talking about San Bernardino like it was an all out ISIS invasion, terrorism wins. When we start listening to Donald Trump and lock people up, kick them out or refuse them entry into America based solely on their religion, the terrorists win again.
The Republican party is once again campaigning using the number one tactic of terrorists: Fear. They are preying on the weak-minded people who believe men armed with swords and ISIS flags will be running through the streets if that evil Obama has his way and pandering to the tough guy crowd who want nothing more than the opportunity to spray even more bullets into a dangerous situation should terrorists come knocking.
If we give in to the fear the terrorists — and the Republican party — Win.
Featured image by Ken Katalino
I am Busta Troll.