Friday morning, Donald Trump was on his way to give a speech to the FBI Training Academy in Quantico, Virginia when a funny thing happened: He was possessed by the spirit of Donald Trump, and compelled to say what was in his head at the moment, unfiltered, and without a thought about what he was about to go do.
Cornered by reporters on the White House lawn, the wayward president was forced once again to enunciate what he thought of the FBI, after having so publicly stated that the organization was “in tatters,” yet somehow still planning to go address new agents like some kind of “Mean Girl” who trash-talks you all through lunch then acts like your BFF when she wants to copy off your sociology homework.
About an hour before he appeared at the Academy, Trump said,
[I]t is very sad when you look at those documents and how they’ve done that, it is really, really disgraceful, and you know you have a lot of very angry people that are seeing it. It’s a very sad thing to watch, I will tell you that. And I’m going today on behalf of the FBI, their new building. But when I — not me, everybody — when everybody, the level of anger at what they’ve been witnessing with respect to the FBI, it’s certainly very sad.”
Trump was, of course, talking about the release of emails pertaining to the FBI’s investigation of Hillary Clinton’s improper use of a private email server — something Trump’s Cabinet members do themselves to this day — and about the agents who were a part of Robert Mueller’s Special Counsel team, who were let go after it was discovered that they accidentally expressed political opinions out loud. Those came in the form of text messages that looked pretty bad discussing then-candidate Trump. Left out of the hyperventilating about those anti-Trump texts that led to the agents’ firing was the fact that they also sent texts critical of Bernie Sanders, Eric Holder, and even Chelsea Clinton.
But once Trump got inside, it’s not that his tune had so much changed as that he was singing an entirely different song. Following the cues of his Attorney General Jeff Sessions during his introduction, Trump insisted (falsely) that crime had gotten worse over the last few years (it hasn’t) and that orders he has given would change that (they won’t).
And then Trump said the most hypocritical thing he’s possibly ever said, after having trashed the agency just an hour before:
These are great, great people. These are really heroes for all of us. The president of the United States has your back 100 percent. I will fight for you and I will never, ever let you down. Ever.”
He went on to dump on immigrants, many of whom were among those graduating Friday, as well as the American city of Chicago, and made quite a few more false references to an increase in crime, specifically in assaults on law enforcement officers.
What a pep talk, Chief!
Watch the speech here:
Featured image via Alex Wong/Getty Images
Andrew hates long walks on the beach, glitter, and men’s rights activists. He can usually be found with his long-suffering wife, who can usually be found asking him to please not order onions on that burger, babe.