You know how, when you walk through the Target entertainment section and see all the books with the giant round “30% OFF” stickers, they’re all the shitty books that nobody wanted to buy?
That’s the Republican Party right now, and they know it.
That’s why, after some soul-searching and introspection, they’ve decided to go out of business, after their brand has been irredeemably tarnished by their support for an amoral, incompetent asshole whose only concern is enriching himself at the expense of others.
Just kidding! That is, of course, the entirety of the Republican platform, and all they decided to do was cash in on the gullibility of Trump supporters and their desire to belong to a team, win or lose.
So the sale they announced on Twitter was the perfect way to reaffirm their commitment to the only constituent that’s ever mattered to them: The Almighty Dollar.
— GOP (@GOP) November 24, 2017
Unfortunately, it’s not Black Friday unless someone gets trampled to death, so that’s exactly what happened to the poor soul in charge of the @GOP Twitter account.
Fixed your sign, GOP!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/n3rjaqiC7x
— LookUpInTheSky (@LookUpInTheSky2) November 24, 2017
Yes. Everything & everyone must go! Lincoln bedroom furniture, all antique, flags as far back as 1776, the original Constitution, Oval Office Furnishing. We raising funds for Trump’s legal defense. Come early and stay late. Everything must go. Instant discounts for the wealthy!
— Joel & Denise Kass (@rvc143) November 24, 2017
the entire GOP is for sale, just send them money and they will defend Roy Moore and cut Millionaires taxes while screwing the middle class. ACT NOW, and they will collude with Russia at no extra charge. Act now, before Don is impeached #TrumpTaxScam #GOPTaxScam
— tony rosa (@TonyRosa_really) November 24, 2017
HUGE NEWS: @GOP is selling votes for 50% off the usual 🇷🇺 donor price.
— Todd V (@manhattanDAD) November 24, 2017
So now @GOP has become the K-Mart of politics while their policies are straight from the Montgomery Ward era.
— Earthography (@Earthography) November 24, 2017
Lol what? Thought Trump would hate any thing called Black Friday 😂
— The Thrifty Yinzer (@ThriftyYinzr) November 24, 2017
Are you worried that people just think you are uneducated? Well now you can prove it with a #MAGA shirt or mug.
— Wendi Barnard (@wendimyb) November 24, 2017
And then someone had to go and point out exactly what’s wrong with the party that USED to encourage people to Buy American:
— Z and Z (@ZaneZirschky) November 24, 2017
Put your flashing lights away, Republicans. Nobody was camping out for first crack at looking like a moron Trump supporter.
Featured image via Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images/Twitter
Andrew hates long walks on the beach, glitter, and men’s rights activists. He can usually be found with his long-suffering wife, who can usually be found asking him to please not order onions on that burger, babe.