At this point, Trump only sits for interviews with one network, and even on Fox, only with anchors and reporters that he really likes. That means blatant liars and sexists are good, washed-up actors are better, but what he really, REALLY likes are racists.
Nobody on Fox is a bigger racist than Lou Dobbs. I know that’s hard to believe, but I would just go ahead and take my word for it, since proving me wrong would require you to watch a bunch of Fox News, and I wouldn’t wish that on Dick Cheney (yes I would).
So needless to say, Trump is super comfortable with Lou Dobbs. He’s old, he’s creepy, and he’s a racist, and honestly I’m just not sure why these two aren’t BFF’s. Maybe Lou prefers prosecco to champagne.
Whatever is keeping them from declaring their undying love, Trump sure does know how to open up to Dobbsie (that’s what I like to imagine he calls him). When he went on Dobbsie’s program on Wednesday, he laid bare what he feels is his biggest accomplishment: Convincing America that the news from every network that prints, airs, or says anything he doesn’t like is fake.
I know a good story from a bad story. But when you have a really good story and they make it bad, I’ll say to my wife, ‘Oh, tonight, I’m going to enjoy watching television because I did great, and wait until you see this,’ and then, they put it on and it’s like — oh, that’s not so good. They are fake news.”
And how do you temper “fake news” that you don’t like? By going after their ratings. That’s why he tweets constantly about how whoever’s he’s talking about is “failing.” He didn’t even try to hide his intentions with ol’ Dobbsie (because Lou can smell a lie like a fart in a car).
If you look at it from the day I started running to now, I’m so proud that I have been able to convince people how fake it is — because it has taken a nosedive.”
All of this, of course, is a continuation of Trump’s claim earlier this month in an interview with the only man who loves him more than Dobbsie and Sean Hannity combined that Trump actually literally invented the word “fake.” As part of the bargain he struck with Mike Huckabee for the temporary use of Mike’s robot daughter, he went on Huckabee’s show on the Jesus Broadcasting Network (or whatever it’s called) and said easily the funniest shit he’d said in months and months:
I think one of the greatest of all terms I’ve come up with is ‘fake.’ I guess other people have used it, perhaps over the years, but I’ve never noticed it.”
Watch Trump’s sit-down with Dobbsie here (the fake news bit starts at 21:57):
Featured image via John W. Adkisson/Getty Images
Andrew hates long walks on the beach, glitter, and men’s rights activists. He can usually be found with his long-suffering wife, who can usually be found asking him to please not order onions on that burger, babe.