Donald Trump is gearing up for his first trip abroad and the whole world has their popcorn ready because he’s almost guaranteed to make a total ass out of himself.
Efforts are being made to minimize the probability that Trump is going to do something to embarrass the U.S. or get his panties in a bunch and start an international crisis via Twitter. The countries he is set to visit, including Saudi Arabia, Israel, and Rome, plan to shield him from as much of the local culture as possible — and make sure he has his ketchup. They are also planning to keep presentations short and include lots and lots of pictures for our toddler-in-chief.
When President Donald Trump sits down for dinner in Saudi Arabia, caterers have ensured that his favorite meal — steak with a side of ketchup — will be offered alongside the traditional local cuisine,” the Associated Press reports Friday.
“At NATO and the Group of 7 summits, foreign delegations have gotten word that the new U.S. president prefers short presentations and lots of visual aids. And at all of Trump’s five stops on his first overseas trip, his team has spent weeks trying to build daily downtime into his otherwise jam-packed schedule.”
According to the AP, this is “all part of a worldwide effort to accommodate America’s homebody president on a voyage with increasingly raised stakes given the ballooning controversy involving his campaign’s possible ties to Russia. For a former international businessman, Trump simply doesn’t have an affinity for much international.”
The AP also added this little tidbit: “The trip marks the first time since taking office that Trump has spent a night away from the White House at a property that doesn’t bear his name. And it’s not just the bragging rights Trump gets when he goes to his own properties: Staffers know his meal preferences and the exact temperature he likes a room set at. He’s often surrounded by long-time friends and acquaintances who have memberships to the commander in chief-owned retreats.”
As if all of that isn’t embarrassing enough, the New York Times reports: “After four months of interactions between Mr. Trump and his counterparts, foreign officials and their Washington consultants say certain rules have emerged: Keep it short — no 30-minute monologue for a 30-second attention span. Do not assume he knows the history of the country or its major points of contention. Compliment him on his Electoral College victory. Contrast him favorably with President Barack Obama. Do not get hung up on whatever was said during the campaign. Stay in regular touch. Do not go in with a shopping list but bring some sort of deal he can call a victory.”
In case you were wondering, yes. These next few days are probably going to include quite a bit of humiliation on the world stage.
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