If you haven’t yet heard, Donald Trump skipped the G-20 summit on Saturday and instead sent his favorite child Ivanka to take his place for the day so the could “try to stay out of politics” while sitting with world leaders.
Naturally, everyone — right, left, center, the servants of the Dark Lord Kazgar (long may he reign), Kazgar himself, cats, aardvarks — f*cking everyone jumped all over this monumental f*ckup in judgment. This sort of thing is usually handled by high-ranking officials rather than the unqualified children of presidents — no matter if they can make a mean champagne popsicle or not.
Since daddy’s little girl was sad, Trump did what any rich father who openly fantasizes about dating his kinfolk would — heaped praise on her in front of the cameras.
“If she weren’t my daughter it would be so much easier for her,” Trump, who says he is worth billions, said after his little girl suffered widespread mockery. “It might be the only bad thing she has going if you want to know the truth.”
While he is correct that any relationship to Donald Trump is not something of which one can be proud, Ivanka Trump grew up with the absolute best of everything because her father was fortunate enough to inherit and manage not to piss it all away. Nothing about her life is hard. Nevertheless, Trump continued:
If she weren’t my daughter it would be so much easier for her.”
What he means, of course, is easier for him. Previously, Trump has begun another sentence with “If she weren’t my daughter…” That one ended with “I would be dating her.”
Watch it below:
Featured image via screengrab
John Prager is an unfortunate Liberal soul who lives uncomfortably in the middle of a Conservative hellscape.
Prager spends much of his time poking Trump’s meth-addled, uneducated fans with a pointy stick and is currently writing a book of muskrat recipes (not really) as well as putting together a scrapbook of his favorite death threats. His life’s aspiration is to rule the world with an iron fist, or find that sock he’s been looking for.