Nearly 30 years ago, when Donald Trump was still a wee monster, a golf cad with bad hair and bad taste in sweaters, a compatriot of his — one Ralph Wolfe Cowan — did Donnie a solid. He painted his portrait. And not just any portrait. He painted the picture that Donald himself might have painted, if he had any discernible patience or talent.
But now that the Obama portraits are in the news, and the right wing is having a ball poking fun at them (or worse), it’s time to bust that thing out again, in all of its glory, so we can have a look at what a really terrible portrait is.
I reckon the only way to do this is just rip-off-the-bandage style, so here goes:
THAT monstrosity is hanging in Mar-a-Lago, and Republicans have the nerve to accuse the Obama portraits of being weird? That sweater could be colored entirely with the substance that Sean Hannity alleged was hidden in the picture of the former president.
After all of the vitriol and — let’s face it — just plain old racism that was woven into the conservative freakout over the Obama portraits, getting a good look at this horrorshow was all Twitter needed to have a couple of belly laughs at the expense of President Just For Men™:
Ha ha ha! I’m going to take a wild guess that this portrait won’t end up in the National Portrait gallery
— Elizabeth Bradbury (@isabellabc) February 14, 2018
I can’t wait to never see this again.
— Lamar Drayden (@DrDray35) February 14, 2018
That’s 200 lbs ago😂
— AHR💙 (@FOTCangela) February 14, 2018
Shoulda been painted on black velvet. pic.twitter.com/BpVVU539FU
— J.Doyle (@sibersong) February 14, 2018
Now we know how he maturbates.
— NIK VENTURE (@NIK_VENTURE) February 14, 2018
Stolen from Roger Moore’s house.
— Joseph Patrick (@RestlessPat) February 14, 2018
Here’s the official Trump sculpture bust: pic.twitter.com/iul2OzENPP
— MrBlifil (@MrBlifil) February 14, 2018
I think Chloe really captured the essence of the picture with her response, though:
— 🦋Chloe 🕊 (@Chloe11419752) February 14, 2018
Let’s hope that never makes it out of the “Winter White House” and into our nightmares.
Featured image via Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images