American conservatives are, frankly, terrible. They pretend to care about the sanctity of life when arguing that a woman should not be able to choose what she does with her own body yet cheer as the GOP strip away every single program designed to help the poor. They go out of their way to deny African-Americans and others they view as enemies the right to vote through a series of measures designed to limit their right to vote yet claim God loves everyone. They preach “religious freedom” but want to ban people of an entire religion from entering the country. And as we recently learned, their claims to be a peaceful bunch don’t stand up to their willingness to elect someone who assaulted a reporter for asking a question.
The embarrassing hypocrisy inherent in the Stupid Part of America is obvious to everyone worldwide — and on Monday, Monty Python’s John Cleese summed it all up quite nicely.
“I’m beginning to think that in America, a Conservative Christian is one who thinks the Beatitudes are a Chinese hoax,” Cleese tweeted.
I'm beginning to think that in America, a Conservative Christian is one who thinks the Beatitudes are a Chinese hoax
— John Cleese (@JohnCleese) May 26, 2017
Cleese is, of course, exactly correct. If you need a refresher on the Beatitudes, you can open a random Bible to Matthew 5:3-10:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.Blessed are they who mourn,for they shall be comforted.Blessed are the meek,for they shall inherit the earth.Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,for they shall be satisfied.Blessed are the merciful,for they shall obtain mercy.Blessed are the pure of heart,for they shall see God.Blessed are the peacemakers,for they shall be called children of God.Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Naturally, Twitter joined Cleese in mocking the
Reich Right’s alleged love of Jesus:
@JohnCleese It's all about saying they love Jesus, but ignoring His teachings.
— Brian Norris (@BrianNorris15) May 26, 2017
— FeasterFamine (@FeasterFamine) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese I'd love to point out to all CHRISTIANS, that Jesus provided free healthcare for all. In case they're confused about what Jesus would do.
— Joseph Hope (@josephishope) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese An American Conservative Christian can "quote" you Leviticus telling us homosexuality is an abomination whilst they eat a bacon cheeseburger
— Odd Year Bob (@Sonova_Beachbum) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese Many Trump voters see themselves as the meek, and therefore, they are demanding that they inherit the Earth. LOL.
— A E Hansen (@A_E_Hansen) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese You do really realize that most of them won't understand this joke at all?
— Steven Crosby (@heysi) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese A conservative Christian doesn't think.
They get brainwashed by Fox News.
— Erica Geoy (@EricaGeoy) May 26, 2017
— John Little (@LittleCongajohn) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese It's so much worse than that. They are angry toddlers that want candy for breakfast and if you tell them no they hit you with their bible.
— Megan (@SardonicGoddess) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese I'll have you know, Mr. Cleese, that I have nothing but love for the Cheesemakers.
— Stephen Kadwell (@SKadwell) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese And the sermon on the mount is a bunch of liberal propaganda.
— Ray Lyons (@RLyons229) May 26, 2017
@JohnCleese They're a bit like creationists, ignoring the dinosaur in the room.
— D (@DMuddification) May 26, 2017
Our nation is being overtaken by idiots.
Featured image via screengrab
John Prager is an unfortunate Liberal soul who lives uncomfortably in the middle of a Conservative hellscape.
Prager spends much of his time poking Trump’s meth-addled, uneducated fans with a pointy stick and is currently writing a book of muskrat recipes (not really) as well as putting together a scrapbook of his favorite death threats. His life’s aspiration is to rule the world with an iron fist, or find that sock he’s been looking for.